Tuesday, December 06, 2005

10 very logical reasons to hate brett favre

10. He ugggly, real ugly.
9. He plays for the Green Bay Fudgepackers, and therefore by definition he is gay, which is not a problem, except that he's one of those gay persons who gets off and then doesn't have the decency to give the ole reacharound.
8. He is leading the NFL in interceptions with 21. A future Hall-of-famer should never lead the league in picks. He should feel ashamed, very ashamed.
7. He was addicted to painkillers, which makes him weak, and we should hate weak people.
6. He lives in Cheeseland. He may think he's better than me, but he lives in Wisconsin, and you can't compare Chicago to Green Bay, you just can't.
5. Until today, he's beaten the Bears 11 years in a row, which is approximately 45 percent of my life. If you figure that I live and die with the Bears, then you understand that he is directly responsible for that empty feeling I carry around inside of me.
4. He caused me to go into therapy as an early age, costing my parents thousands of dollars, leading to financial instability, causing them to hate me, leading to my problems with alcohol.
3. Hating him is fun...you should try it. It seems to make me feel all better inside.
2. He might be blessed with a strong arm, but he shows no discipline whatsoever (see interceptions above). For someone being as blessed as he was, he has not made the most of it. Only one Super Bowl compared to 6 championships for MJ.
1. He's bitching about injuries this year to his team, but hey, he's never been injured a day in his life.

*This is my inaugural article for this blog. I hope it is as inspiring to you as it is to me. As much as I wanted my first article to be Bears-related, as most of the subsequent ones will be, this is what came to me today as I was watching the Bears-Pack game. What can I say - these feelings I didn't know I had just oozed out of me. It goes to show how one person can single-handedly ruin a decade for your team. McNabb had the same effect on the NFC East. That is why there is such a premium put on great players. Now that the G-MEN have Eli, they are in control of the division. Yet now it's Green Bay's turn to feel the wrath. Hopefully it will last a good 30 years.


Blogger Justin said...

A refutation:

10. Kyle Orton's neck beard, enough said. Someone please show a photo of this wretched-looking bastard in the your next post.
9. This is childish, no comment.
8. He is a gunslinger with no supporting cast. We have one WR (Driver) who is the only person in the core that actually has the skill to play in the NFL. Why not let Favre take chances? Green Bay certainly won't be gunning for the playoffs with a fourth-string RB and two top WRs out anyway.
7. This made him indestructible, and was the reason Green Bay won Superbowl XXXI.
6. See #9.
5. Sorry about that.
4. Sorry about this one too.
3. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
2. See #8. How the hell can you compare the NBA to the NFL in terms of one player's influence on a team?
1. I seem to remember one Brett Favre hobbling off the field - thanks to LaVar Arrington - after a 30-9 win against the Redskins, only to start the next game with a knee brace. This guy is also missing 30 inches of small intestine due to a car accident.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

Justin, I'm with you. I told Nick that I didn't see the use in piling-on at this point, but he's a Bears fan who has obviously suffered psychological damage at the hands of Mr. Favre over the years. Regardless, we'll try to include a pic of that Orton neck beard after the Steelers expose the Bears for the one dimensional phonies that they are. That game also represents the first inter-squad battle the blog has seen this year with Cory's Steelers neededing a win over Nick's Bears. Someone will be shamed.

3:27 PM  

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