Sunday, December 04, 2005

Gays and Faggs

Just kidding about Kordell Stewart. He's not gay. He just sucks.

Anyway, I started thinking about this topic while watching the FSU/VaTech game on Saturday night. After watching a bunch of blowouts on Saturday afternoon, I was very happy to see that Brent Musburger would be doing the game. I always love watching college football games with Musburger in the booth. He is an old school sports fan and an avid gambler, so he really brings a great perspective to every game he works on. Even if the game sucked it would still be worthwhile to hear what Musburger had to say. I wasn't disappointed on Saturday night. The most entertaining calls revolved around a player by the name of De'Cody Fagg, a 6-3 sophomore wide receiver for FSU. It seemed like every play he was involved in was memorable. Here are a few of the best moments I can recall from the broadcast:

Brent Musburger: "What a catch! Boy, that Fagg sure has some soft hands."

Brent Musburger: "First and ten. Fagg in motion behind the tight end. Hand off to Booker... here comes Fagg going the other way, Fagg breaks loose! Fagg goes all the way and scores on the end around! How about that! Look at him now, that Fagg is really dancing up a storm in the end zone! That will almost certainly draw a penalty."

Brent Musburger: "Virginia Tech's defense is going to try and make Florida State beat them with their running game. They're doing a great job of shutting down these FSU wide receivers."
Gary Danielson: "Yeah, but that's nothing new for the Seminoles. For instance, Bobby Bowden told us earlier in the week that Fagg has been routinely double-teamed since he was in high school, and that it doesn't bother him. In fact, he kind of likes it."

Brent Musburger: "Well, the Florida State Seminoles have really taken it to the Hokies tonight. I don't think they really had an answer for the potent Florida State passing attack."
Gary Danielson: "Virginia Tech is just not used to playing against such talented players, especially the big, physical Florida State receivers. You know, it's one thing to dominate teams like Duke and Maryland, but the folks in Lynchburg just haven't seen a Fagg, or for that matter even a Carr, all season and I think they lost their composure a bit, and it really hurt them tonight."


Double entendres aside, I think that the recent proliferation of athletes with names of Fagg or Gay is good for both the sports world and the gay rights movement. A lot of sports fans aren't exactly the most enlightened people on the planet, but if there is one thing that could change their minds about homosexuality it would be somebody with the last name of Gay who wins a game for their favorite team. Even the most ignorant Bostonian scumbag had to love Randall Gay's performance at cornerback for the Patriots last season. And, of course, there is Rudy Gay, the small forward for UConn who, as a sophomore, is a player of the year candidate and could eventually be one of the top picks in the NBA draft. You know that there will be a lot of Gay lovers in some lucky NBA city.

The lesson is simple. Sports should be used as an instrument for change rather than a symbol of a world steeped in racism and intolerance. First there was Jackie Robinson. Now there is Rudy Gay. All this world needs is somebody named Tony Partialbirthabortionist who kicks clutch field goals and we blue-staters will be able to rest easy at night.

2 Comments:

Blogger Greg said...

Like,Peter Griffin would totally say, "When I first saw the subject heading to this article, I was as shocked as the first time I saw the video for 'Money for Nothing.'" Then they would have him sitting on the couch lazily, and then when the since-edited line comes, making that dumb, puckered mouth expression.

4:42 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

awesome.

12:20 AM  

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